Caro De Robertis Collection - I See My Light Shining
Queer San Francisco Reimagined
San Francisco is widely regarded as a beacon of queer life, but the people of color who helped earn this reputation are often missing from official records. In this collection, meet elders whose stories of public struggle, private love and care, and community building continue to shape queer life.
San Francisco is widely regarded as a beacon of queer life, but the people of color who helped earn this reputation are often missing from official records. In this collection, meet elders whose stories of public struggle, private love and care, and community building continue to shape queer life.
Meet the fellows
A writer of Uruguayan origins, Caro De Robertis is the author of five novels, including The President and the Frog, a finalist for the PEN/Jean Stein Book Award, and Cantoras, winner of a Stonewall Book Award and a New York Times Editors’ Choice. They are also an award-winning translator of Latin American literature. De Robertis is an associate professor at San Francisco State University, and lives in Oakland, California.
A beacon of queer life
San Francisco is widely regarded as a beacon of queer life, but this reputation cannot be taken for granted. Through widely publicized events, pathbreaking movements and lesser-known private moments of struggle and joy, San Francisco’s place in the queer world has been fought for and won over time. However, the people of color who shaped these events and helped earn San Francisco’s reputation are often missing from official records.
In this collection of oral histories, acclaimed author Caro De Robertis turns to queer and trans people of color, who share their memories, accomplishments, and ways of being. From becoming the first federally recognized lesbian couple to forging and reforging identities to navigating queer parenthood, the impacts of these elders’ achievements transcend space and time and continue to shape the possibilities of queer life in America and beyond.
The fight for change
Many of the elders in this collection arrived in San Francisco in their twenties. Some, like Gwenn Craig, saw the city as an important arena for changemakers. In 1976, Craig witnessed Anita Bryant’s growing prominence and felt it was time to act. Craig recalls, “I said, ‘Something’s got to be done about this. [...] We’ve got to respond.’
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At twenty-five years old, Gwenn advocated for a position as media coordinator at what would become the Coalition for Human Rights. In the wake of the murder of Robert Hillsborough, Craig shaped her media strategy toward addressing homophobic hate and took part in founding the historic Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club in San Francisco. Craig recalls receiving mentorship from Harvey Milk: “I introduced myself. I said, “Hi, we haven’t met before. I just became media coordinator for this new organization that wants to address what’s happening in Florida. I thought you might have some advice about how we can attack this and handle this job.” He [Harvey Milk] swept me into the back room of the camera shop and started giving me tons of advice. I mean, it was a mentorship.”
Many elders in this collection spent their youth fighting for change. In his interview, Chino Scott-Chung recalls that he was moved to act by the tragic death of his best friend, Christopher Lee. Scott-Chung says of Lee, “He was just such a role model to me and such a vision of being in his whole self, this is who he was with no surgery, this was him. And he wasn’t going to take any shit from anybody about it, and I just totally respected him and loved him for that.”
Chino championed a change in California law to allow trans people the dignity of their true gender reflected on death certificates—and won.
Yoseñio Lewis became an activist at the remarkable young age of thirteen. In his interview, Lewis comments on the importance of and strength required to make oneself visible at work. Yoseñio has been a dedicated agent to advance the rights and care of disabled people, trans people, and people of color. Lewis’ work is ongoing; at the time of his interview, he was working with Stanford University medical students to address biases against trans people and people of color in healthcare.
Icons, legacy, and inheritance
Throughout the interviews in this collection, pop culture icons, from music to books to television, are brought forth by elders as talismans. Icons can come in many forms—they can remind us who we are and inspire who we are to become. Elders share how these icons opened their eyes to possibilities for themselves or took care to show their communities as they truly are. For instance, narrator Nicky Calma compares the world of FX’s Pose to their own experiences.
Calma: So, you know, I’m sure you’re familiar—the FX [television channel] series Pose that came out. I cried when I saw that [shows emotion], because that was what was happening. You could feel that. I mean, every time someone comes up to me and says, “Hey, Tita Aida, I tested positive for HIV,” now. Yes, I’m sympathetic. I mean, of course, I’m like, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. But, you know, nowadays, HIV’s a manageable disease. As long as you’re making sure that you’re healthy,” that’s what I would say. And, “Hey, if you want to hang out, we can talk. If you need someone, here’s my number.” You couldn’t do that before. You couldn’t do that. Because the person is already on his deathbed, and he can’t express what he’s feeling, because he’s in pain. And then, you know that scene, in Pose where the room wasn’t decorated, it was kind of yellowish? That was the scene of Ward 86. There were, like, ten beds. Each and every one was just—
Q: And this was Ward 86 of San Francisco General Hospital.
Calma: Of San Francisco, yes, yes, yes. And I liked going there, because I just wanted to make sure how I could contribute, but I also hated going there, because, you know. But Pose really did a good job, in looking into how it was before.
Like Calma, narrator Sharon Grayson found familiarity in elements of Pose.
Grayson: Having experienced friends developing chosen families. One of the things that I grew up with early on and came to understand was mothers. That the gay mothers. And I’m like—I didn’t really grasp that concept because I had my mom, and I’m like, “Okay.” But as I got older and I saw that this was a family. I mean, it really was a family unit, and not too long ago, the TV program Pose, I think, did an amazing job of articulating the importance of that type of unit and how people develop. That was all they had, was one another. And so, I did. I experienced that a lot. I had many friends that were either mothers, fathers, to the younger LGBTQ community, and yes, they operated as a family. I mean, like any other family that dysfunctions [laughs] sometimes, but mostly the fun and the acknowledgement that there was someone who cared. There were people who cared about you. And that, for me, was amazing.”
For other narrators, pop culture icons can represent not only familiarities but possibilities. Crystal Mason references Audre Lorde’s works, while Andrés Ozzuna reflects on the models of society put forth by Star Trek. For StormMiguel Florez, Leslie Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues can be a powerful gateway for trans-masculine folks:
Florez: I was still starting to understand, barely starting understand transness at the time. I read Stone Butch Blues, which is a lot a gateway for a lot of plot of trans-masculine folks of the time. That was the next level from me of like, oh my gosh, this is something that’s totally possible. And I’m not going to do it though because I’m a singer, and I want my voice to change, and I like my voice, that was how I felt but suddenly, I was starting to—and around that time too, I was with playing with gender stuff. I was really envisioning myself as having sideburns and having a beard. I was getting—becoming friends with these two gay men, one of them that I worked with, and I was kind of in love with them, and I couldn’t tell if I wanted to be them or do them. That was a very confusing time for me because I was crushed out on them, but I was also envisioning myself as them. I was envisioning masculine features and finding that really enticing both as visualizing them sexually but also seeing myself just actualized.
The elders in this collection have led their own iconic lives. De Robertis asks: If we think of stories as a kind of cultural inheritance, what is it you would want younger and future generations of queer and trans folks to know or see or carry with them about your life? As icons, the elders in this collection offer talismans of knowledge that carry future hope and conviction.
Icons, legacy, and inheritance
- Brendalynn Goodall 01:29:59
- C. Njoube Dugas 01:58:46
- Chino Scott-Chung 02:00:17
- Crystal Mason 01:46:35
- Donna Personna 01:06:44
Labels
I support people calling themselves whatever the fuck they want, and I will call you that too if that’s what you want, because it’s no skin off my nose.
The labels narrators identify with vary. As Landa Lakes puts it, “most of the time, I identify these days as being Two-Spirit, because Two-Spirit sort of leads me to feel like there's that balance of male and female energy that sort of resides within me.”
“Gay” and “lesbian” are only the beginning. Dyke. Butch. Bisexual. Non-binary. Femme. Genderqueer. Gender expansive. Labels change, identities morph, language evolves. Narrators place importance on how identities can create space and validate self-expression.
Donna Personna recounts a particular Halloween:
Personna: [A]nd it was Halloween, yay, and so that gives me permission. And so I borrowed some clothes from them, and I did it, but I didn't go outside, I was in Carl's [Linkhart] home, one of The Cockette friends, and I was giving out candy at the door. I remember this, a little boy with his mommy says, "Mommy, look at that pretty lady." [Laughs] So I said, "Okay, [snaps] he knows what he's looking at." So I'm a pretty lady and—
Q: What did it feel like for you at that night, maybe the first time you ever spent all that time in a dress with some people seeing you and feeling like a pretty lady, what was it like in your body, how did it feel?
Personna: It felt wonderful, it felt natural, it—I was giggly, I was given permission, there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. And to hear that little boy say that was like, okay, this is it. He says, "Who's that pretty—look at that pretty lady, she's got candy that she's giving out," and so that was what I wanted to hear…”
Joan Benoit describes navigating a multiplicity of cisgender, genderqueer, and masculine gender identities:
[Whispers] It’s all so new. [Laughs] It’s all so new. The younger generation has a grasp on gender identity in a way that my generation never did. But in a way that our ancestors fully embraced. And how they came there is confusing to me. I have no idea how they got there. Do you? Like how have they gotten here from where we were twenty years ago? It’s really quite amazing to me and I feel like I have a lot to learn from these young people in that way. And when I say fluid, I feel like I don’t fit a mold. I am masculine of center. I present as butch. I like to wear the clothes I wear and to dress the way I do. I’m comfortable. It makes me feel strong. And I also am aware that I am a female loving a female woman. And I like that part of my relationship and my identity in a different way than if I identified as male. I think it would be a different relationship. You know what I mean? So I’m super comfortable in my femaleness.
People are like, “What’s with this alphabet, LGBTQIA?” And I’m like, “We’re just working our way towards human. We’re just working our way back towards human.
Interviews ( 30 )
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Hailing from Cuba, Obejas reflects on finding vibrant queer and activist scenes in the US, her path as a writer and journalist, race and cultural dynamics, activism during the AIDS crisis, and her role in the lesbian separatist movement.
Benicia, CA
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Vázquez shares her journey from Cuba to San Francisco as a queer immigrant, overcoming institutionalized homophobia, becoming Miss Gay Latina in 1992, transitioning, her activism with Las AtreDivas, and her hopes for the future.
San Francisco, CA
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Ozzuna charts his journey as a trans Latinx immigrant, reflecting on childhood memories, migrating to San Francisco, founding Wooden Table Baking Company, and finding solace in tango amidst personal and professional challenges.
Oakland, CA
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Salcedo narrates her life as a trans woman, reflecting on her childhood in Mexico, migration to the US, incarceration, and assault. She discusses her recovery, activism, leadership, and foundation of the TransLatina Coalition.
Los Angeles, CA
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Cooper shares her journey as a Black transgender woman, from her childhood in Philadelphia to her activism and advocacy in San Francisco, discussing military service, addiction, HIV, community leadership, and mentorship.
San Francisco, CA
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Goodall discusses her work as a Black lesbian activist and reflects on her family's dynamics, battles for LGBTQ+ and elder rights, personal transformations, and the importance of community engagement, representation, and love.
Oakland, CA
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Dugas discusses their experiences as a nonbinary Black individual, their struggles with identity and societal expectations, the importance of chosen family, embracing spirituality, and advocating for respect and freedom.
Oakland, CA
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Scott-Chung shares his experiences as a trans Chinese-Mexican man, discussing his identity's evolution, facing transphobia, coming out as a lesbian in the military, navigating masculinity and parenthood, activism, and grief.
Oakland, CA
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Mason shares their journey as a Black genderqueer elder, exploring their evolution from a Southern upbringing to activism in San Francisco, co-founding Queering Dreams, and expressing their identity through art and performance.
San Francisco, CA
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Donna Personna shares her path, from her Texas upbringing to becoming a celebrated drag performer and trans activist in San Francisco. She also discusses family, chosen family, overcoming stage fright, love, and contributing to history.
San Francisco, CA
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White reflects on life as a trans man, mindfulness, and striving for love and compassion. He shares insights on racism, chosen family, and self-love, as well as his roles in LGBTQ+ and POC communities and visions for the future.
Berkeley, CA
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An African American lesbian activist, Craig reflects on growing up in the segregated South, her move to San Francisco, mentorship by Harvey Milk, leading a historic media campaign, embracing identity, and her ongoing advocacy.
Daly City, CA
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Benoit shares her experiences as an Anishinaabek Ojibwe woman, activist, and mother, discussing identity, Indigenous rights, community and LGBTQ+ activism, and her visions for future liberation and care inspired by her ancestors.
Oakland, CA
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Kalamka offers insight through his experiences as a queer Black man, discussing the challenges and complexities of navigating bisexuality, parenthood, art, and activism while highlighting the importance of community and love.
Oakland, CA
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Boyce shares his path from a shy, transmasculine kid in Brooklyn to a pioneering artist in the Bay Area. He reflects on the transformational power of punk rock and creating Queer Rebel Productions to uplift queer artists of color.
Emeryville, CA
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Having journeyed from Hong Kong to the US, Tsui reflects on her identity as a lesbian, her work as an author and activist, her experiences with discrimination, BDSM, aging, authenticity, and making a mark on her community.
Oakland, CA
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Thomas, known as Landa Lakes, describes becoming a key figure in San Francisco's drag and two-spirit communities. They discuss early gender explorations, the first Native American drag troupe, and the impact of drag on activism.
San Francisco, CA
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Gomez discusses her work as a comedian and solo performer, reflecting on her experiences navigating gender identity and age, her artistic evolution, and the impact of the AIDS crisis on San Francisco's queer community.
San Francisco, CA
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Mary Midgett, a trailblazer in San Francisco's LGBTQ+ community, shares her remarkable path to becoming an esteemed elder. She discusses founding the NIA Collective, writing Black lesbian erotica, and building inclusive spaces.
San Francisco, CA
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Palacios discusses becoming a pioneering queer Chicana comedian, from her early stand-up to her solo performances, her work with VIVA Gay and Lesbian Latino Artists, challenges in mainstream and LGBTQ+ spaces, and mentorship.
San Francisco, CA
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Nelson discusses her upbringing in Cuba, resisting school authorities, migrating to the US, her drag persona, and creating queer spaces. She reflects on the AIDS crisis, her cosmetology career, and her transgender identity.
San Francisco, CA
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Calma charts her path from the Philippines to San Francisco, reflecting on transgender identity, familial challenges, navigating life in the US, her activism, struggles with substances, and HIV's personal and community impacts.
San Francisco, CA
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As a Black trans woman, Grayson reflects on her life, emphasizing the resilience and strength she honed from her upbringing. She discusses self-identity, activism for trans rights and health equity, and the power of chosen family.
San Francisco, CA
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Florez discusses discovering his queer, trans, and Latino identities, grappling with his relationship with his body and community, BDSM, drag, music, and performance art, while underscoring the importance of growth and respect.
San Francisco, CA
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A Latinx activist in San Francisco since the late '80s, Aguirre reflects on their work in HIV/AIDS community services, confrontations with institutional misogyny and homophobia, and the power of chosen family amidst struggle.
San Francisco, CA
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Ordona discusses growing up in a large Filipino family in San Diego, becoming a figure in the Asian queer community, family acceptance, her activism, healing from sexual violence, and the significance of queer identities.
Seattle, WA
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Arellano reflects on her journey from Tucson to the Bay Area, discussing her early activism, sobriety, engagement with Indigenous and queer communities, artistry, gender fluidity, and the life-saving role of LGBTQ+ spaces.
Tucson, AZ
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Crisostomo shares his journey as a Chamorro gay man living with HIV since 1987, reflecting on loss, activism, breaking barriers, embracing his identity, advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, and his vision for the future.
San Francisco, CA
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Varela discusses growing up with food insecurity, missionary work in Latin America, leaving home, coming out, attending a pivotal conference, and identifying as non-binary and two-spirit at age 65.
Garden Grove, CA
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Lewis reflects on his journey of self-identification, from growing up feeling disconnected from his community to finding a sense of belonging, overcoming internalized prejudice, as well as advocating for trans and queer rights.
San Francisco, CA
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Map
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Castro Camera
The Castro Camera was a camera store in the Castro District of San Francisco. Operated by Harvey Milk until he was assassinated in 1978, it became the heart of the Castro's growing queer community.
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Castro Theatre
Historic movie theatre in San Francisco's Castro District.
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Esta Noche
The first Latino gay bar in San Francisco, the Esta Noche served as a safe space for patrons to embrace both their sexual identity and Hispanic culture. Located in the Mission District.
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Gene Compton's Cafeteria
Gene Compton's Cafeteria was the stage for a landmark riot that took place in 1966, marking one of the first LGBTQ+-related protests in the United States and the rise of transgender activism in San Francisco. Located in the Tenderloin District.
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San Francisco Sentinel
The San Francisco Sentinel is an online newspaper serving the LGBT communities of the San Francisco Bay Area.
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The Castro
The Castro is a neighborhood known for its LGBTQ+ community, activism, and culture.
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The Mission
The Mission District is a neighborhood known for its diverse population, vibrant arts scene, and strong Latinx influence.
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The Tenderloin
The Tenderloin is a vibrant and diverse district in San Francisco.
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Valencia Rose
The Valencia Rose Cabaret and Restaurant was a queer performance venue that hosted both performances and activist events and acted as a gathering space for many LGBTQ+ communities in San Francisco. Located in the Mission District.
